Sunday, 19 October 2014

A Change.

Hello everyone,

So let me start by not ignore the big elephant in the room. I have been away for a little while (more than 5 months actually) but I have an explanation for that.

My life has been a bit tiresome and my anxiety took over it. I still don't feel that comfortable sharing my personal life on the internet but I know that there are LOADS of you dealing with this issue as well and I think that I can handle some bits and bobs.

I spent my entire Summer at home studying, but mostly I was depressed and terrified. I was afraid that I was going to fail again the opportunity to get into Education which I actually did fail again. I was really anti-social, and did not even hung out with my friends once, I didn't want to see them in my 'misery' (if you can call it that).

I felt like failing at everything that I could do right and whenever I opened this laptop to write something in it, I just pulled back. I thought that I was rubbish at it and as a result no one was reading anything that I write. No one is interested in my opinions because I'm just a number in a huge world. Also the thing that more people in my personal life were becoming aware of my blog, it really put me off. The thing that I knew that people I know are judging me on this, it just terrified me and it still does actually. But this is the one thing that I love doing.

I want to change. I need to change. I have to be more confident with my body and my personality. This is who I am and I have to show the world. I can no longer stay in my shell and step out there. I have lost so many opportunities in my life because of my lack of confidence and anxiety. I can't lose anymore.

I am determined to continue writing my blog and share my opinions and criticism with you all. I am determined to change, staying positive.

Do you suffer from anxiety, depression or any mental illness? What do you do to overcome it?

Stay Beautiful,
Belle x